After months of silence and general mystery around the world’s greatest golfer, Tiger Woods has scheduled a press conference for tomorrow, Friday the 19th of February.
The moment we have all waited for - Tiger's first press conference.
Announced yesterday from the World Golf matchplay, it was not said what he will be announcing or whether or not the press will be allowed to put questions to the world no. 1. The Bounce though has a few ideas to give you a sneak peak into what this big announcement may be.
1: Plans to focus on one kind of trophy
A trophy in hand is worth another one on either side.
Tiger has been to rehab to help him keep ‘the mouse in the house’, and when not telling people how he is a pune thirsty animal, he has no doubt been putting and chipping and generally putting the ball in the hole a lot to substitute his detrimental addiction. So he will be eager to return to the tour and focus his efforts on one kind of trophy , the golf ones.
He will announce his schedule for the year and thank everyone for their support through this difficult time, and make it clear to his fans that he is cured and focused blah blah ..
2: He will make public that his only intention is to beat Jack Nicklaus’ Majors record.
Tiger is often spoken about as being the best, but he is four Major titles behind Jack Nicklaus. In a shockingly frank press conference Tiger will tell the world that he has lost his passion for the game and being in the spotlight, but he needs to finish what he started and that is to win the 19 Majors that will take him past the Golden Bear.
Get off my back Jack. When i'm done kicking your ass with Major wins, i'm through with this damn sport!
Before storming off he tells everyone to stay out of his private and that where he choose to park his 1 wood is of no business to anybody. Caddy Steve Williams then punches a hole in a cardboard cut-out of Jack.
Crowd then chants – Steve-O , Steve-O …
3: Tiger goes exclusively black
After getting a load of flak over not just the number of girls he slept with, but the fact they were all white girls. Tiger seeks to repair his damaged image with the African American community by promising to play the field with black girls only.
Tiger will no longer turn his back on the black community
To further re-enforce this act of goodwill, Tiger showcases the new Nike Tiger-band – a head band to go with the afro he is about to grow in an attempt to make the PGA Tour a little more ghetto.
4: Tiger to go pro on the ATP tennis tour.
While playing around at Nike head-quarters and arm wrestling with Rafael Nadal, Tiger picked up a tennis racket and started pounding a few balls against the wall. He really enjoyed it and Nadal complemented him on his impressive form. Tiger then challenged Nadal to a match and did really well. The two then started talking about life on tour and Tiger was really envious of the life of the Spaniard. Even more impressed he was when Nadal started showing him some pics on his i-Phone.
Tiger was impressed with the 'talent' on the tennis tour.
One pic after the other, Rafael was perking Tiger’s enthusiasm.
Mixing with athletic sports people Really appealed to Tiger.
So Tiger started thinking and he thought that if a guy who can hardly speak and has a left arm the size of Florida can be successful and get chicks on tour, then he could too. What really pushed him into the change though was when he saw how hot fellow American Andy Roddick’s wife, Brooklyn Decker is.
Tiger was pretty jealous how another American sports star was getting hotter chicks than him.
With that, they returned to the tennis court and Tiger sent down a barrage of aces past Nadal while quizzing him on the security of the hotels they visit during the big tournaments.
5: Tiger follows his caddies racing passion and uses his money to get into Formula 1
After having to listen to Steve Williams go on and on and on about racing fast cars , Tiger eventually gives it a try while in hiding and develops a real taste for speed. So much so that starts bringing in different types of cars to his caddies raceway in New Zealand. Not content with racing the common cars that Steve races, Tiger buys an old Formula 1 car and Tiger being Tiger, starts to master the tricky machine straight away. With Formula one being all about the money, Tiger decides to enter his own team with Steve-O in charge and him as the driver. First order of business – choosing the pit girls!
Tiger's visits to the pits were more frequent than the other drivers.
Be sure to catch what Tiger really says 11am American East Coast time.
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