1: They speak English. It may not appear so at first but it is what they are trying to do.

2: Don’t hit on their sisters – chances are he schmaaks her too.

3: In school all they learned was how to flare pants and play sport. Don’t expect them to know a thing about South African history or who was playing in the Currie Cup in the 1980’s or earlier.

4: If they invite you to the beach to play some touchies, say no as once you are there they will proceed to tell you how they have slammed every dol there in a bikini.

5: Don’t mention The Bulls or genuine Afrikaans people – they are in absolute awe of them.

6: Don’t talk about the school you went to – theirs was better and would have klapped you at rugby, end of story.

7: Do not talk about how cool Cape Town is or how much fun you have at the J&B Met. Durban is way better and The July is THE event to go to.

8: Hairstyles are to be admired not questioned.

9: They don’t drink cane because it is cheap, they drink it cause whisky isn’t hard enough.

10: The Sharks should have won every tournament they have played in over the last 15 years – they were just really unlucky at times.

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